I’m so tired of it. I would prefer knowing ahead of time so I won’t have to cancel my previous plans when they show up.

Dear Catching Up: My position is don’t dip your hook in the water unless you plan to keep whatever you catch. Your old girlfriend is a married woman with a family. If your motive is to simply sing a chorus of “Auld Lang Syne,” go ahead and reach out. If you are lonely and there is ANYTHING more to it, then don’t.

Yes, you can make your wishes known. What you are proposing is common sense and common courtesy. Tell these relatives you love seeing them but would like some advance notice when they plan to be in town so you can adjust your schedule and take them somewhere rather than sit for hours at your in-laws’.